Desolate/Delight: A Mythology of a Species
Some reflections on contemplative dance practice and performance art

“Artistic study of process is about improvisation.
It’s about intuition filtering through one’s intelligence
and intelligence showering the garden of intuition”
- Barbara Dilley

I am an ensemble member of Desolate/Delight: A Mythology of a Species, a year-long project led by Naropa University’s MFA Contemporary Performance Program faculty member Barbara Dilley. Growing out of last summer’s dance.art.lab five day intensive, wherein a group of 11 post-modern dancers and performers, led by Barbara, explored a developing improvisational contemplative dance form called Aunts. The form of Aunts may not at first glance appear drastically different from any other improvisational score that calls for a menu of activities to be called and from which a “set” will occur. It is the values and inspiration surrounding Aunts that sets it apart.

Some months before the dance lab Barbara received a manifesto from Polly Motley. This declaration was created by Jamm Leary in Brooklyn, NY, and outlined the values of a new curatory undertaking that would empower emerging dancers to make work and to be in non-competitive dialogue with other dancers in a Brooklyn underground rave fashion.

Several of the phrases in the missive caught Barbara’s imagination (and mine) such as “Aunts is about having dance happen… a model that is meant to be adopted, adapted, replicated and perpetuated by anyone who would like to use it…where in a performance setting, it can last for five seconds or five hours; where it is considered temporally finished, never ‘a work in progress’; where it is backed by the land of plenty rather than ‘there is not enough’ ”. Barbara took these values and combined them with disciplines of contemplative dance practice: an emphasis on cultivating kinesthetic delight, inviting space to tell us what to do, commitment to returning gently to the present moment, an exploration of mingling mind and movement, the cultivation of immediate, direct and complete expression, to create a unique embodied performance art form.

From the momentum that had developed out of the dance.art.lab intensive, Barbara was given a slot in the regular MFA production calendar to initiate “a year-long investigation into the creation of performance art based on the establishment of a culture”. Also inspired by these values I signed on to be an archivist of this evolving form and investigation into sustainability.

Nine additional ensemble members committed to the year-long project, including faculty, alumni and current students of the MFA program. All came from a contemplative practice and had curiosities and excitement surrounding our investigation. We were grateful to find community together and embark on this novel project. Once a week for the 26 weeks the program was in session, we were to create on-the-spot performance art!

Each of our Monday night sessions was open to “the gaze” – anyone from our extended community who was interested in witnessing our performance for that evening. This invitation was a central/integral component/value to this project. Our intent was to continuously make work for an audience.

We began first as an ensemble by developing our “internal eye” through a three-part warm-up, starting with group sitting meditation with our cushions against the four walls facing open space, transitioning into self guided personal warm up joining the meditative practice with movement practiced alone, together, into the third segment of open space, meeting the moment in group improvisation.

Inspired by general systems theory and by observing species and organisms existing in nature, we began the development of our culture by exploring different forms of flocking which we defined as herding, swarming and the crowd or mob. Initially I experienced a huge relaxation to my nervous system in all of these form that called for peripheral viewing and a surrender to group mind. Then my attachment to success would raise it’s critical head “this can’t be interesting to the audience! How much of this can you do for how long before they’ll get bored? Where’s my differentiation?” How much of this practice could I tolerate and still remain awake in the moment? What was the line between relaxation and rigor? Would I know when it was my time to “step into my power” and lead the pack? What happens when I’m not the leader and I don’t like how it’s going? Can I trust the group to self-correct? Could I trust that each of us were both dependent and independent?

One of the contemplative disciplines that the culture practices is gentleness to ourselves and others. Another way to articulate this practice is patience. Could I have patience and trust the time it takes for the group to evolve in a way that none of us had pre-determined? One way I would try to practice this discipline in improv space was to wait for an impulse for change to assert itself three times before acting on it. How could we as a culture break patterns of timing and movement?

“Our body and mind are not two and not one. If you think your body and mind are two, that is wrong; if you think that they are one that is also wrong. Our body and mind are both two and one.”
”-S Roshi

When we began in the fall of ’07, we spent most of our explorations in fulfilling Aunts menus brought in by any of us. Sometimes they would be inquires into a certain performance element such as timing or group dynamic, other times text or the power of an object in space. All of our Aunts menus specified spatial configurations (such as corridors, quadrants, grid), the number of participants for the improv (round robin with no more than seven, only three, etc.) the length of the piece (dictated by a pre-selected music score, or by someone calling beginning, middle and end), a menu of movement options (sitting, running, flocking, keeping your center off balance, returning to duets), and what we referred to as “little disciplines” (direct looking, looking between spaces, soft unfocused gaze, stillness, repetition, picking up influence, etc), and use of any props or texts.

As we generated on the spot performance art we began developing our own cultural vocabulary, certain images and forms would reoccur in our shared mythology as specific compositional moments. Elements or themes were adopted, adapted and recycled, such as pieces of text read or themes of improvised speech, props such as a basket of smooth round rocks, and a wooden stool, or re visited compositional moments: “At some time in the Aunt please include two dancers down stage left jumping while a soloist makes a slow diagonal cross.”

At this point Barbara began inviting the individual who brought in an Aunt to side coach the activities and strengthening the director’s eye in the improv through the on-the-spot offering of suggestions to the performers to strengthen the evolving improv (“yes, keep with that quality of movement. Can someone else join the duet in the Stage left quadrant? remember to include 30% stillness, etc). We referred to this as “taking the director’s chair”.

In the winter, Barbara introduced us to a long wave Aunt menu. This specific aunt was 45 minutes in duration, supported by an environmental sound track, with the space divided into quadrants (certain quads may have different menus or at the halfway mark the quads might be relaxed into open space). Additionally the use of lighting was introduced via clip lamps with extension cords, flashlights and votive candles. Other than these specifications of elements and use of space, we were free to explore whatever we were called to in the improv. One’s aesthetic (or ego) began to assert itself, sometimes struggling with the needs of space. Was my impulse to enter or leave an improv driven by a call from space or from a personal impulse to express myself?

Throughout the year desolate/delight project participated in more formal performances than our open Mondays, but even these situations were on the spot performance art.

* * * * * * * * * * *

“The aesthetic nature of desolate/delight reflects a poetic nature versus the theatrical; like painting time with space, objects, people text, connected to the surrealists. the director comes in with a plan and the ensemble lives the plan in the moment.”
- Barbara Dilley

In the spring the group returned to the more structured Aunts form as a 20 minute set, putting an emphasis on the director’s eye, evolving the return of and layering of events, and invoking the “director’s chair” for each Aunt.

Below are some of my reflections on February 11, 2008 taken from the desolate/delight: a mythology of a species archives. All evening’s observations can be found at http://desolatedelight2.blogspot.com/


Monday 2/11 D/D notes – Damaris

Dark and Light (and Sound)

Evening Format:
6:30 – 7:30 Sitting and Personal awareness practice
7:30 – 7:40 Break
7:40 – 9:30 two sets of Dark & Light of 45 minutes each with a 15-minute silent break
9:30 - 10:00 Housekeeping/Discussion

Dark & Light Menu
Barbara is using a timer with a meditation or mindfulness alarm, so that the Aunt can be timed without someone watching the clock. Working with an evolving solo quad form, lights, stones, musing stool, votive candles, Eric La Casa’s Soundscape cd.

It’s a very different experience writing in the dark. Frankly I’m not so sure about how to document this process now. I feel my gaze is very subjective, what I’ll record are not facts or quotes. Do I trust that the group mind has developed enough that what I perceive is what is necessary to record? For what reason do I record this? Are we so in the now that my observations are superfluous? Are the moments and images that arrest/stimulate/relax me moments that point to something deeper, actually pointing to synchronicities or set ups that occurred seconds or hours or days earlier? How do I record that process?

I’m so exhausted I’m not sure I can trust what I’m thinking or feeling. We start in the darkness. I am sitting on a cushion, like the rest of the ensemble. Barbara is in the director’s chair. Barbara enters with the smooth little rocks in the straw basket, kneeling. Bobby sets the candles up in a repeat of the cross formation from last week, delineating the four quads of our playing space. After a little Laurie whispers to me to pass her the flashlight. Tyler comes to the CD player and turns it off. How bold! Cara enters from the audience as Laurie begins slowly rolling the large mag flashlight in a semi circle on the floor.

Erika, Eliza and Katherine join Cara in the slow crawl from their seats on the cushions in the audience. I am aware that my green tea is especially hot and delicious and restorative. The four crawlers have reached the back of the space and two of them begin crawling up the wall. Synchronicity is strong in group agreement to hold images.

Laurie investigates walking along the wall with the flashlight the arching the flashlight again in half circles on the floor. Each sound is part of the choreography. The darkness of the room intensifies our awareness of sound. Although I cannot see her do it from the angle I am resting at I hear Cara roll the small rocks onto the floor. A satisfying sound. A recognizable sound. How many sounds do I know in the this studio? What is a surprise in the dark? What sounds are a part of our culture? I feel calm and bathed sitting in the dark, I notice the red light glowing from the silent boom box and I feel relieved that my back hurts a little less with the rolled up cushion against my lumbar.

Barbara goes back to sit in the director’s chair, Erika crawls to downstage and off into the cushions. Meanwhile the cross formation of the votives is being dismantled.

What are the rules again?

Barbara asks that we “Continue to emphasize repetition”. Repetition from my personal vocabulary? Influence from another in the moment? Recycled images and moments from an earlier Aunt? On another night?

We have no outside gaze in our audience tonight. We are the only witnesses, the only interpreters of our offering tonight. It is so dark in the studio that I can hear a rock making a long rolling journey but I can’t see where it is, but know it’s trajectory none the less.

Barbara calls “Pause. For as long as you want.” Me? Should I pause in my gaze? Return my attention to my breath? Am I at this moment the gaze or the performer or the recorder or all simultaneously. How the audience perceives what you are doing affects what you are doing. Christa clears her throat. I can’t see that it’s Christa, but rather I recognize her sound, even though she does not speak. Bobby hums from the audience. Laurie sweeps the flashlight and for a moment it illuminates this page I am writing. I see the black ink against the white paper and the shadow made from my pen.

Barbara asks “Christa, tell us a dream”.
Christa tells us about her dream about the Maharishi who had just died.
Barbara asks Christa to stay where she is as she is telling the story and asks Eliza to plug a clip lamp into the long extension cord.
It goes dark again and I become aware of Miriam dancing by a group of votive candles


* * * * * * * * * * *

NEW QUESTIONS
As we grow to the close of our investigation, I am realize I have new questions formulating about text use and training in live and recorded sound improv, and the future exploring of group mind for this summers’ dance.art.lab.

What is performance? Is it a shift in thinking? Is it putting a frame around something? Is it “taking care of an audience”? How do we continue to make room for the audience to be an active participant in our laboratory?

A mythology of a species:
my year as archivist to desolate/delight

As Barbara’s assistant to desolate/delight: a mythology of a species, I expected that my ability to document the seminal points of our evolving practice, including the germane questions and observations evolving from discussion, would be supportive in the progression of the vision of the project. Feedback from the participating members suggests that I was successful on this front, holding a continuous eye to our process, and offering a library of reference.

Through this experiment as an archivist I have discovered that I learn most deeply by engaging in as many learning pathways as available. In this situation I was able to participate through direct participation, listening to what was being said (physically and verbally) in the room, documenting my experience through writing, talking about the group’s experience with Barbara, reading and decoding my notation of both these events, and then writing about my experience for other’s benefit and my synthesization.

My evolution from documenting the forms and conversations to articulating my personal experiences within the frame of the rehearsal evening’s structure grew out of the changing form of our Monday night practice. In the fall we used the form of creating Aunts that were brought in by performers in the group. I would doggedly document each menu created and the highlights of the conversations that occurred after each set. In the winter and spring we evolved to less and less structured solo quad practice, then into the long wave form of Dark and Light (with Sound). The use of the musing stool and free text improv expanded as did the use of the directors chair to side coach material. The menu was often open and the improvs lasted for 45 minute sessions.

I was unsure about how to document something of this magnitude. My process of documentation needed to evolve with the culture. It no longer seemed practical to record the menu elements of the Aunts as we were moving into deeper, more complex compositions, that both relied on the vocabulary of forms, images and disciplines we had developed in our culture, and communicated now without naming.

We were re-membering and recycling images, events, texts and relationships in our compositions while simultaneously working with the present, through our contemplative disciplines of an emphasis on cultivating kinesthetic delight, inviting space to tell us what to do, commitment to returning gently to the present moment, our exploration of mingling mind and movement, and the cultivation of immediate, direct and complete expression. The culture was moving towards group creative mind. Likewise my documentation became more lyrical as I opened to my direct perception and intuition in my recording of our evolution.

Below is an excerpt of my musings from February 4th, 2008.

“How to write about this 45 minute Aunt? When the lights go out the first thing I notice is the beautiful reflection of the lights on the snow from the parking lot through the studio windows. The solo quad space is demarcated with votive candles. This is the first act in the Aunt. I notice the sound of the smooth stones in Cara’s hand and the sound of Christa eating an apple. I yearn to hear text in the space about the process but am to shy to do so myself. As myself, how does the gaze participate as an active part of this laboratory?
Erika and Katherine enter into gorgeous conversation about what’s happening. It seems that the text is most vibrant when talking about in the moment perceptions while keeping track of themes. I feel there was a big shift in the culture that I missed in my absence last week, but that I still understand.”

* * * * * * * * * *

My second line of inquiry relating to my taking on the role of documentarian to desolate/delight sprung from my curiosity about the extent to which discern documentation and archival of a form could be constructive to it’s participants and meaningful and useful to others in the field. Since we only met once a week, we devoted most of our time to making work, and little to feedback and questions about the process. Coupled with the reality that the ensemble had an entire week between rehearsals, Barbara was concerned about dissipating energy. I thought that making my documentation accessible to the entire ensemble and hopefully our immediate contemplative dance community in the MFA and Naropa would be a first step in maintaining communication and inviting further discussion. It seems that so often in the creative process moments of beauty and clarity can be forgotten in the press to move forward towards performance. The ability to look backwards with specificity in recall can only be of benefit in building upon successes and avoiding pitfalls.

T o that end I spent many an hour technically trying to figure out how to build a website, and ultimately with the help of my technologically savvy husband (thanks Mike!) learned how to create a blog that I could post archival material to. This became http://desolatedelight2.blogspot.com. At this site each of our 26 rehearsals has been documented, along with comments from Barbara, links to relevant websites, and postings of influential or inspirational articles and manifestos.

A separate blog had already been created at http://desolatedelight.blogspot.com (thanks Miriam!) for posting by the members of the desolate/delight ensemble only. Comments on these posting could be left by anyone else who cared to visit, and we eventually invited the gaze who came to our open Monday evenings to post their reflections on this site. Very few people did, and only a handful of posts from within the ensemble were ever made. Barbara and I continued posting, but then again, we already had weekly face-to-face meetings. Our meetings enhanced, for both of us, our understanding of the project by articulating our observations, feelings and intuitions about our evolution as a culture and then formulating the questions on “the tip of our tongues and minds” that would best guide us in a productive, sustainable and mindful journey.

“The aesthetic nature of desolate/delight reflects a poetic nature versus the theatrical; like painting time with space, objects, people text, connected to the surrealists. the director comes in with a plan and
the ensemble lives the plan in the moment.”
- Barbara Dilley

Many questions were voiced by our culture as we developed. Here are some themes that we explored during our investigation:

Why do we decide to leave or enter an open improv?
Is it because space is telling us to do so, or because anxiety or ego is? How much freedom is tolerable in an improv? What boundaries are necessary? How many boundaries can we relax before neurotic mind creeps up?

What is breaking rules?
Is it an adaptation? A new form appearing? What space is asking for right now? An urge/impulse? A new piece of language that wants to enter the culture? What is our way of harmonizing with the new? Can it be an opportunity to both hold the precision of a form and allow for spontaneous evolution, for deep play?

How can the audience be more included in the laboratory portion of our culture?
Through the five eye practices of direct looking, peripheral looking, looking between objects, infant eyes (or soft gaze/ looking before naming) and eyes closed? How does the audience take it’s clue for participation from the performer? What are we trying to offer to the audience? How the audience looks at us effects what we do, and they will search for context. How can we allow the performer and the gaze (us/them) grow both more open and more deep?

How can we on-the-spot retrieve material from our shared past?
Can we stand not always being clever and original? Can Re-cycle, re-use and re-member build sustainability and deepen our culture?

What supports a unity that is not unison?
What is one-mind-on-the-spot?
What is the difference between a value and an aesthetic?
What is the line between relaxation and rigor?
How does one continue to establish solo space while not denying the presence and influence of others? Inside of an improv can we stay with ourselves and also take direction
What is community?

In the first semester I organized three “dharma and creative process talks”, moderated by Barbara to encourage discussion first amongst those of us in the MFA program involved in desolate/delight and then
into the larger community directly involved in applying contemplative practice to the development of work. These live meetings were a great success, but did not ever evolve into online discussions.

I wonder now if I was too ambitious in my expectations? As technologically savvy as our culture is, many people do not prefer to participate in discussions online, but rather in person. I plan as part of my thesis presentation to share some of my experiences in desolate/delight ideally through a fishbowl discussion.
Listeners to this discussion could be invited to responses on the blogspot. I still wonder if the blog, and the form of writing as a method for articulation can be another pathway to in depth learning and articulation as a creative artist?

It takes more time, but then again, most things worthwhile do.